They must have Utah ties. Ignore any other aspect of being a football coach. Recruiting impact is the only thing that matters (No former coaches or retired guys)
HC: Morgan Scalley (who in their right mind wouldn’t trust this guy with the life of their child?)
OC: Alex Smith (lots of NFL experience, very intelligent, people don’t get more likeable than this guy)
DC: Eric Weddle (No need to explain, any other choice would be bad in comparrison)
ST: Tom Hackett (Aussie, charismatic, seems to have taken his study of football further than most Aussie guys)
QB: Brian Johnson (Texas connection, SEC country name recognition, as intelligent as anyone on this list)
RB: MOSS (Florida connection, very well spoken. What Whitt is to the world of Calf muscles, Moss is to thigh muscles, who can so no to those beasts???)
WR: Steve Smith (what teenage football player would ever tell this guy no? Ultimate hype man, he would legitimately be an unbeatable recruiter)
OL: Isaac Asiata (polynesian connection, Utah connection, could help lock down the top in-state poly kids we have been losing out on recently).
DL: Lewis Powell (dude is knocking it out of the park already).
LB: Gionni Paul (another Florida kid that is just an all around great guy)
DB: Sharrieff Shah (already doing an amazing job)